


This is us

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alone, Beautiful, Broken, Forever, I Love You, Loss, Love, M/M, Reality, Self Harm, Suicide, lonely, strong, together, true story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 12:09:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13926870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You told me to write about us. You told me to write about how we met and how, through all the trouble we never thought we'd be faced with, we're slowly becoming everything we said and wished we'd be. So here you go, Daniel Vargas. This is the story of us. I love you with all my heart. I hope our story, though it's still being written, is one worth telling, and everyone else can enjoy reading it; because I have sure as hell enjoyed writing it with you.





	This is us

**Author's Note:**

> This is my story- well, our story. We're apart and the only way I will cope with not hearing his voice is remembering it from the very beginning. He told me to write about us, so that is what I'm doing. These chapters will likely not have those meaningful notes at the end and I apologise, but this isn't any old story. This is us. It's going to mean more than anything to me, and I hope you enjoy hearing the story of how my life has seemed to be going to hell and back and how I've been holding his hand the entire time. So please, enjoy, and whatever questions or comments you have you can always send them my way.   
> I love you Daniel, with every cell in my body. I hope you enjoy reliving our story as much as I do

I met a boy with a beautifully broken mind and a heart too full for a boy with so much to give. He gave me his everything from the moment he told me he liked the pointless things I wrote on that stupid website. And maybe he didn't say that exactly, maybe he told me how he related to the way the characters cried oceans of tears and only found feeling when they were hurting. Maybe he had told me how he'd been used the same ways the character had, had lived through more than a young boy ever should. And maybe he was just like everyone else, telling me he adored my words and the way he could put himself in the characters shoes so easily- but he was different from the very beginning. He wasn't a fanboy trying to talk to his favourite author. He was a boy looking for help in someone he'd never met, and that was a lot of trust to have in a stranger. But I knew that- I knew that his stutter was caused by his lost trust and the feelings others had made him have- ones he didn't want. I took him under my wing from day one and relied on his smile to grow my own, confiding in the humor that got us both through the shit that was going on. 

I met a boy that knew who he was more than anyone, but was still so lost in his own mind all he could ever hear were the voices others planted there, could only feel unwanted hands on his beautiful hips and unwanted tongues slipping past his beautiful lips. He opened up to me from the beginning, and maybe that's how I knew I could trust him- trust him to let me help him, to let me put my everything into him. And he did. He clung to me the way I unknowingly clung to him, and we never let go of each other. I used to spend hours hiding my phone just to come back to an empty inbox, and after I met him I never put it down, waiting every second of the day to hear from him again. He was my anchor. The one thing in my life that kept me stable, that kept me here. My heart would stop beating if I ever lost him, if I lost that dull beat in his chest. It was so professional at first, the way we asked how each others days had been and awkwardly joked about the things friends do. He was my friend, the one I always went to. And even if I didn't tell him my problems, did't give him a chance to help, I let the laugh I hadn't yet heard and the smile I hadn't yet seen brighten my day. He didn't know how happy he made me from day one without even trying. I didn't know how hurt he was, how I could change that with a few simple words and make him smile like nothing happened. 

I met a boy through a role play about two other boys who we let portray us perfectly. We talked about Sims and how he liked known bands with unknown lyrics and the colour red and how he liked Zelda more than breathing but that seemed to be the case with a lot of things. We talked about how his head space tended to change and I didn't know what to do other than take care of him, how I could do nothing but love him. We talked about how neither of us wanted to do this but that when we had each other we were happy- a type of happy we never wanted to stop feeling. We role played two boys who represented the other two boys playing them, pretending our hands were theirs and their words were our words. We pretending this fantasy was reality and we were the boys laying broken in each others arms and comforting one another with steady breath and a pulsing chest. We learned how the other smiled and cried and I learned how you may have cried more than others but you always had a reason, you were always hurting and it was my job to take that away form you. That's what I wanted to do from day one. I learned all the dark things sitting inside you and from the day you messaged me at three am until now, I have never let my phone leave my side. And everyone seems to have a problem with that. My parents blame my depression on me staring at the screen too much and say it's not even real, and everyone gives me those looks for hiding my phone and texting you in class. But I don't care. You've been more important than any grade or smile since day one, and I would give all of that up for you in a second. 

This is our story. This is the story of a shitty wanna be author and the broken little artist that messaged him because he find his story on this website. That's us. A boy who doesn't know how to love being found by a boy who loved too much in the best way possible. I always admired that about you- but that's for another story. This is the story of how I fell in love with you without even realizing it, and how that has only grown since day one. We've been through thick and thin and about as many fights as married couples go through. And no, I can't remember ever conversation we had word for word- I wish I could.But this is going to be our story from as much as I can remember, with all the important parts fitting in. It may not be in order, but our lives haven't been orderly since the moment I met you- and I don't want it any other way. And so to fill the hole I have right now from not being able to hear your voice every second, and to forge that I've never held your hand, I'm telling our story. Because yes, it is one worth telling. Just like how you're one worth loving

**Author's Note:**

> Just remember~ Deep breaths, Happy Thoughts, And all of this is going to be okay. I love you guys so much, and don't forget to keep in touch ^-^


End file.
